Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
