woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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