Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
