it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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