Got a toothbrush?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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