But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
