i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
