I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
