Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
