im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Holy shit dude........stairs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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