Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was CRYING into my vagina
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
