I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
