Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize