I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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