Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
