youre lurking in front of me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
