Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
