Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
