OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
