woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.