i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
do herpes really smell.
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
All the doctor said was why