Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday