i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
