I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
