We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
