Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
