I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
