that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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