I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
