It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
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