She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
