My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
