Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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