So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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