i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A+ Viking dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
