The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
