I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
