K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
