Say something about gay babies.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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