And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the day after is always just damage control
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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