I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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