my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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