I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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