i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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