I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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