I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
