I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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