I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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