Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
