and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
