Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
