I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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