I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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