Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
