if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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