I could have mohawked her pubes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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