I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Couch. On fire.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
