addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
