Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
