Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I party with great urgency now.
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