his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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